7 Wednesday Rambles

1. I have a new job working as a children's assistant at the library, and I absolutely LOVE it. I wish I could work more hours there because I enjoy it that much. It is a blessing to finally be able to look forward to my jobs rather than dread going.

2. This past week I have been incredibly antsy, and I have no idea why. It has been a struggle to stay focused in my classes and to force myself to sit down and do my homework. I just wanna go anywhere and do anything. Spontaneity people, it's a good thing to have every once in awhile.

3. My parents are in Europe right now, and I'm insanely jealous. I would give anything to be over there with them right now, but I'm so excited that they finally get to see what I have been going on and on about since I went there for the first time 5 years ago.

4. Currently, I am avoiding my student teaching presentation because I am so stressed out about it and like I mentioned before I'm having an issue with staying focused. Plus, I just felt this urge to write, so what better way to do just that than through my blog?

5. I am super excited about getting back into the classroom this semester because I will have more opportunities to teach, and that's exciting stuff right there. I actually get to develop a unit this semester and teach for an entire week. It's a big deal people.

6. I believe that I should probably only stick to one cup of coffee a day because after that second one there is no way that I'm going to be able to sit still today. I sealed my fate with that second first sip.

7. I graduate in exactly 102 days 2 hours and 46 minutes. Holy crap. This is getting real. I haven't been this excited since that one time that my nephew was born or that one time that I graduated high school. The end is near friends, and I could not be more ready for it.

Have a wonderful Hump Day lovely readers,

Til next time.

He Who Promised is Faithful

I can't believe it has taken me this long to get back on the blogging horse, but so much has happened in the past 7 months that I'll just say I was a little distracted. Unfortunately, at the beginning of the summer I chose the path more traveled, and I want to say that I regret it, but it has taught me more than I could have ever thought. Would I have saved myself lots of heartache and guilt by choosing a different path? Oh, without a doubt I would have, but I also have learned so much about myself that even if I was given the opportunity to go back and change things I'm not sure I actually would. Life is a journey that includes twists and turns and ups and downs and these past months have added a few of those to my story, which I hope that one day I can use to help guide someone in the right direction. I have decided that instead of dwelling on my mistakes I would like to turn them into something positive. There is not one single person on this planet that is not struggling with something, and if I can be one person to help another because of the experiences I have had, then I will use them for the greater good. 

I say all of this because too often lately I have found myself feeling sorry for myself and wishing I could change the past. That is no way to live a life. I do not wish to live a life that consists of the past. I want to live a life that is in the present and one that looks onto the future. Resentment and guilt cling to the past, and I have had more than enough of that. It's high time that I stand up, brush myself off, and open my eyes to what the future holds. If I continue to live in the past I will live a sad, pathetic life, and that terrifies me more than the chance that I may make more mistakes, which knowing me and that I'm human I'm bound to screw up a few more times before I leave this earth. Life isn't easy, but it doesn't have to be lived in misery. 

This morning I didn't go to church (gasp), but instead I chose to spend a few moments writing in my journal and looking over some verses about guilt. I have been experiencing some of that lately, so I decided to look up some verses about it to see what God had to say about it. Instead of feeling like the continual screw up that I sometimes feel like His words left me with a feeling of hope and a sense of renewal. Now this isn't one of those new year, new me mantras, but I do think that with the new year some changes need to be made. It's not going to be easy and there are probably going to be days where I make the same mistakes again, but the thing I have got to realize is that God is not going to give up on me even when I want to give up on myself. Even when all my hope is gone, God still has enough hope for the both of us. I think that is why this last verse stuck out so much to me:

"let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."

Hebrews 10:22-23

I'm going to choose to hold onto that hope because I know despite everything that the God I serve is faithful and true. He is patient with me, even when I'm acting like a child, and someone like that is someone that more than deserves my time and my heart. I'm not perfect. I will never claim to be, but I want to strive for more than I have been lately. God deserves that and so much more from me. 

Til Next Time.