Soul Print

So I have recently begun reading this book entitle, Soul Print, by Mark Batterson. My best friend gave it to me to read last semester, but it just sat there while my life was dominated by school and work. However, the other night I saw it laying there gathering dust, and I decided that I would take his advice and start reading it. And it was phenomenal. A total God thing (you will find that I will probably use that phrase a lot. It's short and sweet way of explaining the power of God in my life) I would recommend this book to anyone who is just trying to figure out who they are in life and in God's plan of this great big universe. I feel like most days we try and act like we have it all together, but I will be the first to admit that my life is messy. I do not always wake up every day with a cherry disposition, I mean I know it might be hard to believe, but some days I can be a real jerk. So I take this time now to apologize to anyone whose feelings I may have hurt because of my short and sometimes sarcastic comments. But back to the point of this post, the book. Unlike most books, I have chosen to take my time reading through this one. I only read a page or two at night, and often I read and reread what I have read because I want it to soak in. Now I am someone who likes to hurry and rush through things, so that I can move on to the next thing in my life. Like I mentioned in my former post, I had my whole life planned out down to when I was going to married to when I wanted to have my first kid to what my job would be. Crazy, I know, but unfortunately, true. But like I also said God had another plan in mind that he just chose to wait and share with me after I had already made these plans set in stone in my head. He has a real great sense of humor, but I still love him :) My whole life I have been searching for Mr. Right because I want to get married and have a family. Sounds simple, right? I didn't realize that that is not exactly the best way to go about searching for your perfect mate. Batterson puts it best when he says, "In God's grand scheme, it's never about orchestrating the right circumstances. It's always about becoming the right person." I am sure that in some way that had been told to me, but reading it in the way he worded it just hit home for me. I can't be ready to meet the person God has for me when I am not prepared myself. And as prepared as I felt I was, I was no where near ready because He has more to show me before I can settle down. As humans we never want to admit that we are weak or not good enough, but let's be honest we are both. Yet, like I mentioned before God is always there to give us strength and to tell us He loves us despite the mistakes we have made. Lately I have been getting impatient with God because I have no idea what I am doing most days. I don't have a plan of what comes next in my life, and I have no clue what He wants for my life. Do I become a teacher and work with deaf children? Or do I become a reading teacher? Or do I even become a teacher at all? What if I am supposed to be a missionary, but I am not listening close enough to what He wants for me. However, amidst all this chaos in my head, I have found more peace in the last semester than I ever thought possible. I am beginning the art of having a life without a plan, and it has been the best thing for me. Now that's not to say that I have not struggled with it, but when I let go and let God I experience life in a whole new way, and I crave to experience every day like that. God is teaching me patience, reliance, and trust that He knows  best for my life. Another passage that stuck out to me in the book was, "God wants you to get where God wants you to go more than you want to get where God wants you to go. So take a deep breath, enjoy the journey, and know that God will get you there when you're ready to get there." Could anything else sound so reassuring? After reading that, I literally took a deep breath and sat back to ponder what all he meant by that. Could it be possible that I could let go of every dream and desire I have ever had, and I could choose to entrust them to God because He has a plan for my life that I could never completely understand or imagine? The answer to that is YES! God knows you better than you know or understand your own self. He is the one who created you and knitted you in your mother's womb! How cool is that? He knows everything about you, and you do not have to hide from me, well technically you can't. But he does not want to force things from you, He wants you to want to share with Him. No matter how messy your life might seem. Even when life seems bleak and dark, the one person who will never leave your side is God. Remember, "without a crucifixion there is no resurrection" (Batterson). At first, I didn't understand how that applied to my life, but reading more into the passage it began to make since. We are going to face dark times, life is going to suck, we are going to want to quit and just give up because that's easier. I mean even Jesus faced feelings of uncertainty about his Father's plan for his death. But out of that darkness, we learn things about ourselves that we might have never known if we were not put in that position to face the things we did. We faced our demons with (hopefully) God at our side and came out even stronger for it. God does not want bad things to happen to you, but sometimes we have to go through experiences to become the person we were meant to be in the long run. Jesus had to die because if he didn't, He would have never rose three days later, and His blood would have remained unshed, and I don't even want to think about where humanity would be now. So just like Jesus we must go through our own crucifixion, whatever it might be, small or large, in order for us to be able to rise up on the other side. Now this is all so easy to sit here and write, but it is much harder to actually live this way. I have had my fair share of dark days, and I am sure I will have more to face in my lifetime, but I choose to hold on and get through the dark days with my Father by my side helping me along. Some days I hide, but He always remains by my side. Always. And you know what the cool thing is? Even though I may not learn or understand right away what the point of my darkness was God knows and in His time He will show you and you will understand and be thankful that you have faced and beaten down the things you have. I know that I am. I would not be the person I am today, if God had not had me face the obstacles I have. I never truly thought I would thank Him for those experiences, but I appreciate everything I have been through because I would not love God the way that I do now, and I most definitely would not have the passion to serve Him like I do. I encourage all of you to just let go because He will always be there to catch you. Giving Him control was the best thing I have ever done in my entire life, and to be honest it is a battle most days to not take the reigns back, but I know in the long run stepping back will be the best thing for me. Mark Batterson had it right when he said, "God wants to do something immeasurably more than all you can ask or imagine." All you have to do is let Him. Til next time.